Wednesday, January 11, 2012

THE BEATEN GENERATION: The Dick Principle (Chapter 2)

by Dick of All Dicks & Poli Tico

Chapter 1: Anti-Pretentiousnessism here

Chapter 2: Post-Delusionalism

December 29, 2020 White House

Two more days & it's official. The United States won't be the same anymore. New York & California would be cast off & won't be allowed back to the union if they didn't meet certain minimum conditions. They both turned into bankrupt deadweights after the Great Fall, they sapped voraciously the resources of the other states just to maintain them in financial intensive care & the few remaining credible financial analysts pronounced them "not viable as independent states". Worse, majority of the states judged them "morally execrable" & won't be allowed back if they didn't "atone for their sins", something which Florida, Michigan & Massachusetts promptly did by trucking forcibly their "undesirables" into New York or California. They were offered for a pittance to Kiribati whose land area was about to be consumed by the Pacific but the islanders stood their ground erecting crosses throughout the island to "ward off evil spirits", they said. California sent a high-level delegation to Mexico to seek return to its pre-historic family but it was given the same brush-off by the suddenly finicky newly-rich Mexicans. The Mexican cartel sneaked in merrily instead, converted it into its new HQ then promptly gave it the monicker of endearment Nueva Somalia. New York was practically under the resurgent Mafia after the Federal government pulled out before Christmas. Sicily sent feelers it wanted "brotherly union" but strangely the Capo di Capi refused, he dismissed the offer saying the equally bankrupt Sicilians "just wanted a share of the loot". California & New York were practically decimated near the end of 2020, all their still healthy companies & "acceptable citizens" have already transferred before the deadline to the New Improved United States or NIUS, the new name of the formerly wealthiest country in the world.

As expected, the orgy of retribution hasn't stopped in both states. Everyday, clumps of dead corpses of gays or leftist intellectuals were discovered in some dumpster. In Hollywood, the Bollywood producers cashed in on the fire sale of studios but they had to import workers & actors from India because most of the former Hollywood types were hunted down for being "social degenerates" (the big heterosexual producers, including the closet types, have pulled up stakes a couple of years ago to Fargo, North Dakota to form Follywood). West Hollywood has turned into a ghost town but there was still a strong stench of a rotting corpse everytime a strong wind blew. In New York, all the surviving financial types have all gone to Sao Paolo, the new financial hub of the Americas, where they were allowed to change their citizenship to Brazilian if they had assets of at least $50 million (those who didn't were shipped to Manaus in the Amazon where they were instructed to give financial advice to the indigenous tribes). But they barely made it, a former head of a failed bank which was supposed to be too big to fail but failed anyway was caught in the airport. He had the temerity to lecture the mob about their "low level of civilization" so the mob promptly crucified him upside down in Wall Street.

He had to hurry to convince the good apples. If the NIUS would ever be great again, it needed to bleed no further. They need good financial men. The pretentious political & social theoreticians, he personally didn't care a whit but no way could the NIUS afford to lose those with good track record in finance. He had designated Salt Lake City as the new seat of the new NIUS Bourse. He might not have too much love for the Mormons but he felt the balance of the temporal with the eternal in the air should keep everybody's feet on the ground. There were complaints that they couldn't possibly exchange Sao Paolo for the snowy boondocks of Utah, they bargained for Denver, but he exhorted to their patriotism. Miraculously, most still recognized the word.

When human delusions & human frailty collide, he thought. Whether you give him too much brawn or too much brain, man is bound to overstep his limits. But that's almost a cliche in human history. They just have to move on.

"How are you, my friend?" It was the General Secretary from Peking in his clipped English.

"Very fine, thank God. Everything going well as planned" He felt the sincerity in the voice of the man. A fellow traveller, the voice conveyed the humility of too much power to control man's destiny in his hands.

"I'll have the ten trillion dollars invested in Salt Lake City as soon as you give the green light..."

He couldn't speak. He was so overcome with emotion he was afraid he would choke & embarrass himself. He couldn't afford to cry before another head of government.

But then he heard the sniffles from the other end of the line. He was at a lost on what to do or say. After a while, he decided to clear lightly his throat.

The Chinese General Secretary weakly laughed. "I'm okay, my friend. Human nature just makes me cry..."

Next: Chapter 3: Before The Great Fall

Vivimi - Biagio Antonacci (Italia)

Hacia lo salvaje- Amaral (España)