Thursday, July 15, 2010

Taste Crime

This happened in Madrid last Wednesday. If it was splashed on the papers, it would've been tagged Hate Crime. I was in a bar with Fele, my Spanish straight guy, when I went to the toilet to take a leak. Suddenly, a handsome bodybuilder type materialized beside me. Just as suddenly, I heard him say in a lispy voice that I'm sexy & I have a beautiful dick. An American, Brooklyn accent. I just ignored him but I could feel nausea rising. I always feel nauseous whenever a lispy muscular diva flirts with me. Then I heard him again:"I saw there you like boys too, you don't like me? American guys not good for you? I have a big dick too!" I didn't look. Nor did I speak, I was rushing to empty my bladder. "You're a homophobe, aren't you? You're a bigot, aren't you? Homophobe! You self-hating hypocrite!" the surreal shrill whines came in torrents. We were alone in the toilet, his stinking breath at the side of my face. Then his big but limp-wristed hand touched my shoulder. I punched him in the solar plexus, he slumped out of breath. I got out of the toilet, left 100 Euros then hailed Fele out of there. We transferred to the next bar. I immediately headed for the toilet & vomited.

Yes, Greg, the Eww Set has managed to invade Madrid.

I still taste bile at the memory. Here's something more palatable. Sergio Ramos of the Spanish National team that won the World Cup 2010.

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